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I do now thoroughly appreciate the fact that if you befriend a girl you will never ever end up in a romantic (i.e. sexual) relationship with her.
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The Art of Conversation:
I need to master the art of conversation skills. I've met a girl, and for the first day we talked for five minutes, nothing much, but after that I lost self-control and everything in my head was to only ask questions which I think now is STUPID and SILLY.
Is this too late to turning things around and not get out of the situation as a "friend"? What can I do to learn the art of conversation?
Tim
Many guys gear their conversation for women to topics that they THINK women find fascinating.
Usually, they resort to using questioning techniques that get her thinking, “Oh God! It’s 20 questions!”
Although questions in and of themselves are not necessarily bad, they must be used as part of a structure that gets her mind going where you want it to.
Let’s consider what learning the art of conversation can do for you.
The art of conversation hooks a woman’s attention.
The art of conversation captures a woman’s imagination.
The art of conversation entrances a woman’s mind, and makes her extremely suggestible.
Women are extremely suggestible to a well told story. When they are in a conversation, women are tranced out when they hear someone telling a story. Their critical mind turns off and you’re then free to drop any subconscious command in. Women put up very little resistance to stories, because you are NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM.
Stories that grab someone’s attention this way are about the storyteller himself, a friend of his, or an experience.
By combining storytelling with the artful use of questions, you’ll soon master the art of conversation.
So what is the trick to asking questions in a way that gets women interested?
A lot of guys only ask boring questions that typically evoke one word answers, like, “So what do you do?” or “How old are you?” or “Are you here alone?”
Questions like this lead to the girl being bored OUT OF HER MIND.
One of the best ways to ask a question that evokes a memory or feeling.
By aiming your question at feelings, you cause the woman to experience the feeling as she searches for the answer. Imagine asking a woman, “So if you were to think about the kind of man you really are attracted to, how would you describe him?”
At this point, she will now search her past experiences, think of the kind of men she was attracted to, and the kinds of feelings she'll feel by thinking it, and associating those feelings to you.
See the difference between a question that evokes memories and feelings, and the boring questions that a woman hears all the time?
So no, it's NOT too late to turn things around and get out of the friend frame.
You can still turn things around. Use the art of conversation skills to tell interesting stories, ask her the right kinds of questions, and get her attaching feelings to you.
Now, it’s not easy to become a complete master of the art of conversation overnight. It takes practice.
So get out of your house now and approach some new women. Practice your stories and your trans-derivational questions. Practice on a few women per day. If you can build this skill, you’ll automatically become more desirable, intriguing and attractive to women.
In fact, you'll learn that it’s quite easy to walk into any social situation and get into conversation with anyone.
So if you want to learn about the exact, step by step process of mastering the art of conversation, you’ll want to check out my Seduction Science System – the entire process is all explained there and I take all the guesswork out of it.
Derek Vitalio